Infertility schmertility

Answering inappropriate questions

I remember the first time someone congratulated me on being pregnant. I was 28 years old, making up a chemical solution in the lab and definitely not pregnant. “Congratulations!” the student said to me as I realised I was humming out loud. “Uh… Sorry, with what?” I asked in confusion. “You’re pregnant!” the student said… Continue reading Answering inappropriate questions

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Fertility Clinic Stories · Infertility schmertility

Learning to fly

There are mornings when I wake up and I am convinced that this pregnancy was all just a vivid dream but then I feel my little cat snuggling against my growing belly and the nausea hits like clockwork. Every day it’s becoming a bit more real and for the past week we have started taking… Continue reading Learning to fly

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy · Scientifically Speaking

A 12 week wait

My husband and I never allowed ourselves to consider life after a positive pregnancy test. We avoided discussions about names, parenting styles and pregnancy announcements. I stopped imagining a pregnant belly the moment I walked into the fertility clinic and realised that I might never experience pregnancy except in warped dreams. Averting my eyes when… Continue reading A 12 week wait

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy · Scientifically Speaking

Midstream in the Midlands

It wasn’t just emotion inspired by a progesterone over dosage but emotion inspired by a truly beautiful view from our bedroom. Last weekend, my husband and I went away for a romantic getaway to the Drakensberg (Dragon mountain), a mighty mountain range stretching 1000km across three South African provinces. We stayed in a lakeside cabin… Continue reading Midstream in the Midlands

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

On the outside, looking in

In primary school, I was already well aware that I was a nerdy hippie. I always seemed to have the wrong clothes, uncool suitcase and dorky interests - luckily our parents raised my siblings and me to be confidently weird and to be proud of our unique characteristics. As an adult I realised that every… Continue reading On the outside, looking in

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

Embryo lullabye

Your lullabye consists of: the humming of your freezer crib, gossip & glassware chiming in the lab, traffic & sirens on Sandton highways, desperate couples whispering softly. ☆ Your dreams consist of: what ifs, what nots, what have yous, talents realised, laughter felt, your parents' love for your detail, planets hurtling through space. ☆ My… Continue reading Embryo lullabye

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

Two moons in the sky

My toes leave the ground; My atoms float in limbo. My clothes in a heap on the ground; My goodbye - without a sound. My heart loses its rhythm, its signal; My thoughts evaporate and expand. My carbon rearranges in a black hole And I become Hydrogen, I become Helium. -------------------------------------------------------- A life changing moment… Continue reading Two moons in the sky

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy · Scientifically Speaking

Carbon based magic

Not unlike a soap opera, IVF is a tale of intrigue, back stabbing (with needles), evil twins and unconventional love. Herewith, the bold and beautiful days of our lives... Follicle count Like a rockstar on holiday, I always feel edgy while waiting to start fertility treatment. But when the baseline scan arrives, I am suddenly… Continue reading Carbon based magic

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

Rose buds and turtle eggs

I'm a little hen fluffing the straw around my little follicle eggs. I've build a nest of the finest feathers, fresh grass and rose petals. These 14 follicles are held tight below my heart. If anyone comes close, I hiss threateningly and bare my animal teeth. My octopus fingers caress the injection bruises on my… Continue reading Rose buds and turtle eggs