When you get a new car or you borrow a friend's car, your foot still has to learn the exact pressure needed to accelerate (without looking like a rude show off) and the exact pressure needed to brake smoothly (without looking like an anxious learner driver). Not only am I learning to enjoy my new car which I inherited from… Continue reading Serotonin Switches
It is a relief to admit that I am depressed. I blurted it out to my mom at Saturday breakfast, with tears dripping into egg yellow, chai tea. The waiter pretended he didn't see. I admitted it guiltily to my husband after he woke me up on the couch after a sleepless Friday night of… Continue reading Riding the wave
“The point is, not to resist the flow. You go up when you're supposed to go up and down when you're supposed to go down. When you're supposed to go up, find the highest tower and climb to the top. When you're supposed to go down, find the deepest well and go down to the… Continue reading Standing still and moving on
"Here is a pic of what our little blastocysts look like!" I boasted on family message groups and Instagram like the mad scientist I am. I walked around with a stupid grin on my face all of Saturday. I even smiled broadly at pregnant ladies and high fived some kids in the grocery shop. Sunday… Continue reading My rollercoaster hit a low curve…
"I have a "higher level" question for you Dr Y... If we force people who are not supposed to have children, to have children, are we not tempting fate? Won't we increase our chances of having an abnormal product? Where is the line?" I was both devastated and impressed by my husband's question. Our doctor… Continue reading IVF: That’s what’s up!
"I'm scared of darkness. I'm scared of light. I'm scared of the monsters under my bed. I'm scared of earth worms and politics, dentists, ghosts and critique. I'm scared of yes. I'm scared of no. I'm scared of dying before I start to grow." - A translation of one of my very old poems from… Continue reading No clowns in this circus!
I never wanted to be the red eyed, slurring, drunk lady at the bar who shares her tragic story with whomever is unfortunate enough to wait a little too long for their cocktail/beer/brannewyn & Coke. We all have that one aunty whose service providers are always unreasonable and that one friend whose boyfriends are always… Continue reading Graciously vulnerable
In the future, when I have enough time travel points to allow me to travel faster than the speed of light (which might be uncomfortable since I get motion sickness) and I'm allowed to return to some past moments, this would be one of them. I'm sitting at my vanity table, reflecting back at myself… Continue reading Trapped in amber
What do you do when you don't know what to do? No, uh... I'm asking you! I don't quite know how to stumble forward. I am incredibly confused. I don't know what to write and so I force myself to start a story without plot, heroes or... even high school vampires. I start washing a… Continue reading Wondering, wandering, wonderful wonder woman
In Monday night’s dream I was lost in the fertility clinic, which looked like an enormous mall, complete with coffee shops, clothes stores and movies. I saw an old Professor from my work, who is very chatty and I started running away from him, avoiding his gaze, evading his questions and hoping he won’t see… Continue reading Down go the pills and the emotions