Infertility schmertility

Answering inappropriate questions

I remember the first time someone congratulated me on being pregnant. I was 28 years old, making up a chemical solution in the lab and definitely not pregnant. “Congratulations!” the student said to me as I realised I was humming out loud. “Uh… Sorry, with what?” I asked in confusion. “You’re pregnant!” the student said… Continue reading Answering inappropriate questions

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Fertility Clinic Stories · Infertility schmertility

Learning to fly

There are mornings when I wake up and I am convinced that this pregnancy was all just a vivid dream but then I feel my little cat snuggling against my growing belly and the nausea hits like clockwork. Every day it’s becoming a bit more real and for the past week we have started taking… Continue reading Learning to fly

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy · Scientifically Speaking

A 12 week wait

My husband and I never allowed ourselves to consider life after a positive pregnancy test. We avoided discussions about names, parenting styles and pregnancy announcements. I stopped imagining a pregnant belly the moment I walked into the fertility clinic and realised that I might never experience pregnancy except in warped dreams. Averting my eyes when… Continue reading A 12 week wait

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

Sun showers and silver linings

When Oom (Uncle) Jan and his wife came to stay with us the week of my Dad-in-law’s funeral, we kept on making jokes about his absolutely terrible ring tone on his phone. Every time it rang, we started laughing hysterically – it was the sound of a siren remixed with an old school rave beat.… Continue reading Sun showers and silver linings

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy · Scientifically Speaking

Midstream in the Midlands

It wasn’t just emotion inspired by a progesterone over dosage but emotion inspired by a truly beautiful view from our bedroom. Last weekend, my husband and I went away for a romantic getaway to the Drakensberg (Dragon mountain), a mighty mountain range stretching 1000km across three South African provinces. We stayed in a lakeside cabin… Continue reading Midstream in the Midlands

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

On the outside, looking in

In primary school, I was already well aware that I was a nerdy hippie. I always seemed to have the wrong clothes, uncool suitcase and dorky interests - luckily our parents raised my siblings and me to be confidently weird and to be proud of our unique characteristics. As an adult I realised that every… Continue reading On the outside, looking in

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

High hopes & expectations – Black holes & revelations

I wouldn’t call it a proper nervous breakdown… no tears have been shed, no chocolates destroyed. It is more of a mini symptom Googling attack, followed by fluctuating levels of hope plateauing into confusion. Yup – that is the reality of 7dp5dt. Hope is an estranged friend. My husband and I have become extreme realists… Continue reading High hopes & expectations – Black holes & revelations

Fertility Clinic Stories · Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

In vivo forces (IVF)

TWW, PUPO, FET, ICSI, IVF, POAS, HCG, 6DP5DT - I find myself on the edge of Google - in limbo once again, drifting between moments of complete calm and panicky 5 minute attacks of overanalysing symptoms meant to only confuse. We had two embryo shooting stars transferred back into their galaxy last week Tuesday and… Continue reading In vivo forces (IVF)

Infertility schmertility · Metaphysics and philosophy

Embryo lullabye

Your lullabye consists of: the humming of your freezer crib, gossip & glassware chiming in the lab, traffic & sirens on Sandton highways, desperate couples whispering softly. ☆ Your dreams consist of: what ifs, what nots, what have yous, talents realised, laughter felt, your parents' love for your detail, planets hurtling through space. ☆ My… Continue reading Embryo lullabye